Long ago, in a lifetime far, far away...
I was a bright-eyed eighteen year old in a yellow oxford cloth shirt, khaki shorts and docksiders, walking across my new campus on a hot August Sunday, heading to my last day of Freshman orientation.
I don't remember a thing from orientation, but I remember that moment, frozen in time. I remember wishing it was really fall- crisp and cool with colorful leaves. I remember how sunny and hot it was. That moment was full of "what if...?" A moment of endless possibility and pure joy, unmarred by worry or stress.
That year was marked with highs and lows; seemingly effortless A's in English, Theater and Music: W/F in Calculus, but I didn't stress it too much. It was a wonderful year of school, socializing, fencing (yes, fencing!) and fun.
Fast forward my life say, oh twenty seven years...
I am a slightly less bright-eyed forty-five year old, hauling ass across campus in ten minutes because art history is on the other side of the world from theatre performance studies. All around me swarm bright-eyed eighteen to twenty-somethings, most in shorts or sweats and flip-flops (!). Most seem to know where they're headed, but I see plenty of freshmen, who like me, have their campus maps in hand and look just a little dazed and confused.
On this day, there was no specially reserved wardrobe- just some black capris and a purple tee- but I did take the time to wear my funky purple satin windowpaned canvas sneakers, my own private sut to the girl who strode these sidewalks so many years ago.
At the end of my first round of four classes, I came home, got my daughter to her afterschool program, cooked for my family, and headed back to campus for one last class- poetry. I then went to the grocery store, got my daughter ready for bed and fell onto my own mattress aware of every muscle below my waist. There was also a not-unpleasant tingle and buzz in my brain... I am using myself in ways I have not for a very, very long time.
So far, so good... :)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Tony Robbins & Sunny Morning Driving
Have any of you been watching "breakthrough" with Tony Robbins (NBC, 8 p.m. Tuesdays)? I fully and freely admit to being a complete TR geek. I have been using his exceptional products, and even MORE exceptional coaching/style of thought to enhance and improve my life for over a decade.
I know, I know... The crazy giant guy on the infomercials with all the teeth? Yup. I bought his book, Unleash The Giant Within, about eleven years ago, Personal Power II, shortly thereafter and my personal favorite The Time Of Your Life after that. I made my first real stab at writing because of what I learned there.
The Time Of Your Life changed me so profoundly that I traveled to Detroit, Michigan to see him live, and then to Denver, Colorado in 2000 for Unleash The Power Within. There, I met AMAZING people... Oh, and I walked on fire. Yeah, I did that...
To this day, I use what he then referred to as OPA (Outcome Purpose Action) planning for my life. And, I have a small piece of charred wood that sits on my writing desk, reminding me that I walked on f'ing fire! WHAT ELSE COULD I DO... WHY ALLOW ANYTHING TO HOLD ME BACK?
In the intervening years, it would seem I have let many things hold me back. But all the while, I kept plugging away, trying to find my place, my purpose in this life. I can look back on the last decade with the understanding that I made decisions which allowed my family to remain whole and for my husband to heal. The paths I chose not to travel still beckon, and I know of a couple that I will explore in the near future.
To an outside observer, my life might seem pretty dire and drab. We are broke, to be sure, but because of what I (and my husband) have learned and used nearly every single day for a decade, we have never felt poor.
Sure, it took A LOT longer that we thought to get our heads on straight and regain the amazing momentum we'd had in 2000. But that is one of the many tolls paid in our lives to the ferryman of mental illness. I credit Mr. Robbins' work with giving me the tools to pick myself up, and my spouse and child, and carry us through the storms of the last decade. My family would not exist if not for what I learned from him.
So, I guess what I am taking WWAAYY too long to say is, WATCH THIS SHOW! Go online at hulu and watch the first 2 episodes if you missed them, then tune in next week. An hour long segment may not change your life, but it just might change your perspective... And that's a start.
Last night's show featured a couple who were in financial free-fall, and who blamed each other for the mess they were in. It was inspirational, to be sure, but it was after the show that the resonance of it became apparent.
It opened up a much-needed dialogue with my mother-in-law about the future, and I really hope allowed her to see her son in a new, better light.
This morning, I had to drive to a town about forty five minutes from my home. I left at 7:30 am. It was humid, but not yet hot, so was I was comfortable with the windows open. After I concluded my business, I drove home with the classical music station playing and wind blowing my ponytail around. I admit, I got giddy folks. Which is crazy, because what I started to think about is what my life might be like without sound.
I may be losing my hearing completely in the not-so-distant future. Music and performance are two of the backbones of my life on earth. I don't know who I am without them. I don't have the answer to that question yet, but I could answer in THAT moment, I could hear and love the music, the wind, the hum of my tires on the road... And I could LOVE IT. And so I did- love it and be supremely grateful for it- all the way home.
Your comments are always welcome. HAPPY TRAILS... :)
I know, I know... The crazy giant guy on the infomercials with all the teeth? Yup. I bought his book, Unleash The Giant Within, about eleven years ago, Personal Power II, shortly thereafter and my personal favorite The Time Of Your Life after that. I made my first real stab at writing because of what I learned there.
The Time Of Your Life changed me so profoundly that I traveled to Detroit, Michigan to see him live, and then to Denver, Colorado in 2000 for Unleash The Power Within. There, I met AMAZING people... Oh, and I walked on fire. Yeah, I did that...
To this day, I use what he then referred to as OPA (Outcome Purpose Action) planning for my life. And, I have a small piece of charred wood that sits on my writing desk, reminding me that I walked on f'ing fire! WHAT ELSE COULD I DO... WHY ALLOW ANYTHING TO HOLD ME BACK?
In the intervening years, it would seem I have let many things hold me back. But all the while, I kept plugging away, trying to find my place, my purpose in this life. I can look back on the last decade with the understanding that I made decisions which allowed my family to remain whole and for my husband to heal. The paths I chose not to travel still beckon, and I know of a couple that I will explore in the near future.
To an outside observer, my life might seem pretty dire and drab. We are broke, to be sure, but because of what I (and my husband) have learned and used nearly every single day for a decade, we have never felt poor.
Sure, it took A LOT longer that we thought to get our heads on straight and regain the amazing momentum we'd had in 2000. But that is one of the many tolls paid in our lives to the ferryman of mental illness. I credit Mr. Robbins' work with giving me the tools to pick myself up, and my spouse and child, and carry us through the storms of the last decade. My family would not exist if not for what I learned from him.
So, I guess what I am taking WWAAYY too long to say is, WATCH THIS SHOW! Go online at hulu and watch the first 2 episodes if you missed them, then tune in next week. An hour long segment may not change your life, but it just might change your perspective... And that's a start.
Last night's show featured a couple who were in financial free-fall, and who blamed each other for the mess they were in. It was inspirational, to be sure, but it was after the show that the resonance of it became apparent.
It opened up a much-needed dialogue with my mother-in-law about the future, and I really hope allowed her to see her son in a new, better light.
This morning, I had to drive to a town about forty five minutes from my home. I left at 7:30 am. It was humid, but not yet hot, so was I was comfortable with the windows open. After I concluded my business, I drove home with the classical music station playing and wind blowing my ponytail around. I admit, I got giddy folks. Which is crazy, because what I started to think about is what my life might be like without sound.
I may be losing my hearing completely in the not-so-distant future. Music and performance are two of the backbones of my life on earth. I don't know who I am without them. I don't have the answer to that question yet, but I could answer in THAT moment, I could hear and love the music, the wind, the hum of my tires on the road... And I could LOVE IT. And so I did- love it and be supremely grateful for it- all the way home.
Your comments are always welcome. HAPPY TRAILS... :)
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